Curly Hair – "What Am I doing wrong?"
Updated: Jun 29, 2021
I guarantee that every curly girl has asked herself – while staring in the mirror in frustration – "what am I doing wrong?"
Curly hair is notoriously unpredictable. Much like a tired and hungry toddler, you think you have done everything right but it can turn on you in the blink of an eye!
HOWEVER, it does get easier and you can get to a point where good hair days are most days and bad hair days are actually NOT SO BAD!!
After over 18 months of being natural, I finally think I am at this place. Getting a good wash day is pretty easy, and even on the bad days I know it is still 1000% times better than it was when I started. The main reason for this….my hair is the HEALTHIEST it has ever been.
Below are a few things you may be doing wrong and therefore affecting your results:
Focussing too much on how your hair 'looks'
Like most curlies we want our curls to look bomb! We want long luscious bouncy curls and this becomes our main focus when we make decisions on what to use and how to style.
HOWEVER, your main focus should be your hair FEELS, and you hair and scalps overall health.
Once you manage to reverse any previous damage and improve the overall health of your hair you will find it simply starts to look better without much effort.
Comparing yourself to others
This is something we are all guilty of in all aspects of our lives, but specifically for us curlies, we love a Instagram scroll for tips tricks and inspiration, however this can lead to a lot of comparison and frustration.
"Why doesn’t my hair look like that", "I wish my curls did that", "How does she get her curls to grow so quickly"
We are all so very different and all our curls are beautiful. What you are blessed with is your own and you should be proud and happy. I guarantee there are people envious of your hair as well.
When you spend too much time trying to make your hair look like your favourite influencer you are wasting time that could be spent finding out what works best for you and your hair.
Buying and trying too many products
One of the biggest beginner mistakes is to try out every single product under the sun and see if they work for you. What a lot of people do not realise is that a lot or success with products is in how you apply it and your styling techniques.
There are products that I tried at the start of my journey that I thought simply didn’t work for me as the results weren’t good. However, since I have learnt more about my hair, and how I should style and manage it, those same products have given me great results. It was never the product, it was always me and how I was applying them.
Most of our frustrations come from not getting the results we want as quickly as we would like. Improving you hairs health takes time and patience but it will come.
I have seen many women give up too soon and go back to straightening which will only set their progress back further.
If you are struggling with the ‘wait’ then I would suggest using protective styles (wigs, braids etc) for a while until you have been able to reverse any damage and your hair is healthier.
Not protecting your hair at night
One of the biggest struggles with curly hair is frizz and not being able to get your hair to last for more than one day. However, if you are not adequately protecting your hair at night then this may be a major reason for excessive frizz.
Using satin / silk accessories to cover your hair at night is very important to ensure there is no unnecessary friction on the hair that can lead to breakage and frizz.